Fun, Mission - posted on July 4, 1776 by

F**K You (I’m Famous)

“A Real Man never rubs his success in your face, unless you were a fucking asshole to him before he ever made it.” ~ John D. – The ARMed Comic 

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Fun - posted on July 4, 1776 by

Ain’t No Fun – Snoop Dogg

“A Real Man always loves, sharing fucking sluts with his friends.” ~ John D. – The ARMed Comic

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Fun, Legacy, Mission, Relationships, Responsibility - posted on July 4, 1776 by

DOIN’ THIS FOR YOU PART 1 – A Real Man Explains How Much Sacrifice It Really Takes To Be A Real Man Father

These collective stories are all about slamming on the breaks to everything in my life, not going to prison for killing every single motherfucker that deserved it & getting my temper under control to raise you, my one and only son right & teach you everything I could possibly think of good or bad.

Havin’ kids is a bitch. It’s like slammin’ the fucking breaks on every hope, dream & aspiration you’ve ever had in your entire life, simultaneously, unless of course you’re like most women and having kids was your only & every hope, dream & aspiration you’ve ever fucking had since the second you came out of the last woman with the exact same original fucking epiphany, but for A Real Man who intends on being fucking present for his child’s childhood, or someone with a sincere desire to accomplish something truly unique, unlike bringing another 18 year contractual obligation into the world, like say, inventing electricity, writing one of the greatest books in the history of mankind or building an empire from scratch, it’s like hitting a fucking brick wall with your face at a 100 miles per hour on a fucking bicycle, which could have easily been avoided entirely by simply tapping the brakes, unlike getting a woman pregnant which unfortunately, there are no brakes for, only propellants and accelerants to the tune of jet fuel and C4 and most rational people would opt out of plowing teeth first into cinder block. Oh sure, you can wear a condom or cum in her mouth, as long as she doesn’t poke a fuckin’ hole in that bitch or spit the contents out through a fucking Krazy Straw, directly into her own gash. She can even be on birth control, if she fuckin’ takes it. She could give you a hand job in a parking lot behind a convenience store on a warm sunny day, just make sure to cut off her fucking hand once she’s done. As far as I know there are only 3 possible ways not to get a girl pregnant in America today. A, never fucking meet her, 2, never, ever let her touch your dick and Charlie, fuck her exclusively in the ass, never allowing her grab your pecker except with the inside of her sphincter, using a condom, spermicide and flushing her out with a God damn fire hose when you’re done and finally, but most importantly get a fucking vasectomy now boy! “A Real Man always uses birth control, by shooting his fucking loads in the back of their throats and watching them fucking swallow it.”

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Emotions, Finances, Fun, Health, Legacy, Mission, Relationships, Responsibility, Spirituality - posted on July 4, 1776 by

OUR GOVERNMENT IS OUT OF FUCKING CONTROL AND NEEDS TO BE CLEANSED – Rated ARM Rebellion – John D. & The Sons Of Liberty

INTRO:

Welcome Rebels to the – OUR GOVERNMENT IS OUT OF FUCKING CONTROL AND NEEDS TO BE CLEANSED – Edition of Rated ARM Rebellion Episode 1776-012!  Available right now at RatedARM.com & Soundcloud.com/RatedARM and on iTunes under Rated ARM Rebellion.

I’m your host John D. – The ARMed Comic & America’s answer to Whoopi Goldberg, The Dixie Chicks & Saul Alinsky – Fuck Them All! – the realist fuckin’ American Real Man you’re ever gonna find.  But just remember, I’m a fucking comedian, not your God damn therapist, so if you don’t like what you hear, fuck off, I don’t give a shit.  Don’t fucking listen & go get a God damn sense of humor Pussy!

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Emotions, Finances, Fun, Health, Legacy, Mission, Relationships, Responsibility, Spirituality - posted on July 4, 1776 by

SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF – Rated ARM Rebellion – John D. & The Sons Of Liberty

INTRO:

Welcome Rebels to the – SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF – Edition of Rated ARM Rebellion Episode 1776-011!  Available right now at RatedARM.com & Soundcloud.com/RatedARM and on iTunes under Rated ARM Rebellion.

I’m your host John D. – The ARMed Comic & America’s answer to Whoopi Goldberg, The Dixie Chicks & Saul Alinsky – Fuck Them All! – the realist fuckin’ American Real Man you’re ever gonna find.  But just remember, I’m a fucking comedian, not your God damn therapist, so if you don’t like what you hear, fuck off, I don’t give a shit.  Don’t fucking listen & go get a God damn sense of humor Pussy!

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Fun, Legacy, Responsibility - posted on July 4, 1776 by

A Real Man Drinks And Explains The Pros & Cons

What is it about alcohol that makes life so much more fucking interesting?  And if you don’t think it does, you clearly haven’t drunk / drank / drinken enough or often enough or the right shit or you just suck at it.  Now granted it’s not for everyone and I’ll give you that.  Some people go fuckin’ mental when they drink and maybe they should just pursue other, less dangerous endeavors, like ballet, interior decorating, or changing their tampons or perhaps they should just learn how to fuckin’ drink like A Real Man.  After all, how much of a man can you really be if you can’t even fucking drink?  A Real Man is supposed to be tough, rugged, someone who freely speaks his God damn mind at all fuckin’ times and does whatever the fuck he wants, in spite of what the turd tappin’, cum guzzlin’ pro-faggot, anti-real man, misandrist media machine wants you to believe.  But then you have the other side of the coin, where a man is supposed to be reliable, dependable, honorable and all that other bullshit.  Well guess what?  If bein’ a man were easy, God would have made you a fucking woman, so suck it up princess.  “A Real Man never drinks, with a cock in his ass.”

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Fun, Mission, Relationships - posted on July 4, 1776 by

A Real Man Distinguishes The Difference Between A Keeper And Throwaways

Before we get started, women will say there are men keepers and men throwaways too, but I’m here to tell you, you won’t find any of that bullshit isn’t on RatedARM.com, because there’s no legal way in America for a man to destroy a woman’s life yet and about 1000 different ways for a woman to do so to a man, that I’ve been through anyway, but I’m working on it.  Secondly, no matter how much you bitch, whine or stomp your feet, I’m not trying to help women with my work, at all, it’s not necessary.  All I have to do to make sure all the worthafuck women in America are Safe, Protected, Taken Care of and Loved is to transform only 1% of all men into A Real Man.  All other problems after that will take care of themselves.  The more I focus on that 1 singular purpose the quicker I can get it done, so back the fuck off and let A Real Man do his thing.  “A Real Man always knows the difference between a keeper and a throwaway, if you have to ask guess what whore.”

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Emotions, Finances, Fun, Health, Legacy, Mission, Relationships, Responsibility, Spirituality - posted on July 4, 1776 by

Fuck Fake People! – Rated ARM Rebellion – John D. & The Sons Of Liberty

INTRO:

Welcome Rebels to the – FUCK FAKE PEOPLE – Edition of Rated ARM Rebellion Episode 1776-010!  Available right now at RatedARM.com & Soundcloud.com/RatedARM and on iTunes under Rated ARM Rebellion.

I’m your host John D. – The ARMed Comic & America’s answer to Whoopi Goldberg, The Dixie Chicks & Saul Alinsky – Fuck Them All! – the realist fuckin’ American Real Man you’re ever gonna find.  But just remember, I’m a fucking comedian, not your God damn therapist, so if you don’t like what you hear, fuck off, I don’t give a shit.  Don’t fucking listen & go get a God damn sense of humor Pussy!

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Emotions, Finances, Fun, Health, Legacy, Mission, Relationships, Responsibility, Spirituality - posted on July 4, 1776 by

Balls! Why You Can Never Be A Real Man Without Them – Rated ARM Rebellion – John D. & The Sons Of Liberty

INTRO:

Welcome Rebels to the – BALLS!  WHY YOU CAN NEVER BE A REAL MAN WITHOUT THEM – Edition of Rated ARM Rebellion Episode 1776-009!  Available right now at RatedARM.com & Soundcloud.com/RatedARM and on iTunes under Rated ARM Rebellion.

I’m your host John D. – The ARMed Comic & America’s answer to Whoopi Goldberg, The Dixie Chicks & Saul Alinsky – Fuck Them All! – the realist fuckin’ American Real Man you’re ever gonna find.  But just remember, I’m a fucking comedian, not your God damn therapist, so if you don’t like what you hear, fuck off, I don’t care.  Don’t fucking listen.

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