Fun, Responsibility - posted on July 4, 1776 by

A Real Man Yells Out “Fuck The Children” & Saves A Rock Concert!

A Real Man

So this past weekend I went to the Busch Gardens food & wine festival.  I’ll say that again.  Food & wine festival, but just to make sure more than elitist wine pricks show up or perhaps to balance out the audience, they also had the once very popular rock band Collective Soul, known for their 90’s mellow and sometimes harder rock.  They aren’t Metallica by any stretch of the imagination, but they aren’t Sarah MacLauchlan either.  I’ll re-iterate for those on you not yet in line with my point, they are a rock band and this is a food and wine festival.  Wine and rock equals and should always equal women screaming, titties out, sign of the horns fingers and no fuckin’ kids.  Now I don’t have a problem with kids per se.  I have at least one of my own that I know about.  What I do have a problem with is people bringing their kids everyfuckingwhere including events they have no business being at and a wine and rock festival is right at the top of the fucking list.  Now to be fair, Busch Gardens is a kid centric theme park and I totally understand why they did what they did, but they shouldn’t have and I’m about to prove it.  “A Real Man never has anything to prove, the corpses laying on the ground say it all.”

Collective Soul was doing a good damn job entertaining the crowd and sounded just as good as they did years ago when they arrived on the scene, then all of a sudden things took a dramatic turn for the worse and almost shit canned the show entirely.  Why?  How could a band with 21 years in the business lose control so easily?  I’ll tell ya why?  Ed Roland, the lead singer was entertaining the masses with some witty banter about the fucking attorney’s getting their shit together in order to release their next album, which was pretty funny and the next thing you know, the powers that be, the same powers that be, that allowed kids into this event in the first god dammed place, ran up on stage during the show to inform Ed that cursing wasn’t allowed at Busch Gardens because there were children at the food, wine and rock festival.  Well as per Eds own words, “21 years in this business and that’s the first time anyone has ever run up on the stage, during a show to correct me.  “A Real Man never curses, all words are made up, make believe anyway, therefore none of them are any better or any worse than one another, so fuck you.”

Well Ed was visibly disturbed and spent the next 10 minutes pacing around the stage, conferring with his band mates, gauging how bad each of them needed the money before they continued on with the show.  He also made sure he explained everything that went down over the speakers to all of us in the audience.  That’s where A Real Man stepped in and broke the tension for everyone and proved once again, that no one, at least no one who wants to go to a wine and rock festival gives a flying fuck about kids at concerts, political correctness and the so called rules.  Once again, if you’re so concerned about these children and their fragile little minds, why the fuck did you bring them to a wine and rock festival in the first fucking place?  So just as Ed finished explaining to the audience that he has to apologize and re-iterate that he can’t say the f word because children were among us, I yell out, “fuck the children!”  Now in all honesty, I wasn’t 100% sure exactly what kind of reaction that would get from the band, the crowd or the powers that be, but I really didn’t give a fuck either.  I’m sick and fucking tired of being completely surrounded by these wimpy, pansyass, faggy, protector of the children wherever the fuck I go.  “A Real Man always says what needs to be said, even if it is fuck the children!”

No matter what fucking restaurant I go to, day or night, no matter what movie I try to see, day or night, no matter what strip club I make it fucking rain in, even at 3 in the god damn morning, there are screaming, running, smelly, throwing shit, obnoxious asshole children there ruining everything’ and I have to just sit there and take it because their retard fucking parents, if you can call them that are too busy to be bothered with their faces buried in their cell phones.  Well I’m about to start burying these parents with their cell phones rammed up their asses sideways.  Selfie that mother fucker.  You and your children don’t have the right to annoy the fuck out of everyone around you, well you technically have the right, but as A Real Man, I also have the right to take that right away from you and take you away from all of us as well.  I don’t know a single person who wants to go to a wine / rock event or anywhere else with their kids for that matter, but since everywhere you go nowadays someone’s always annoying you with their kids, you weak minded follow the leader sheep, eventually, unfortunately come to the conclusion that it’s ok for you to do the same.  Well it fucking isn’t.  If you can’t get a God dammed babysitter, than just do what people have done for millions of years before you, stay the fuck home.  No one, I repeat no one give a shit about you or your screaming fucking brats.  “A Real Man, always gets a babysitter, it’s called a wife.”

And while we’re on the subject, when we first got to the wine and rock festival, there was some lady if you can call her that, I couldn’t tell between the rolls of fat, the jorts, the tattoos or the fact that surprisingly enough, there wasn’t a man with her with her 4 year old son sitting on a towel up against the gate that separates vip from general admission.  This is exactly what the fuck I’m talking about.  Her son wasn’t even God damn remotely interested in wine or rock, yet here he was blocking a perfectly good vantage point to the show, on a towel big enough for 2 because his stupid, fat, retard of a mother thought it would be a great fuckin’ idea to take a 4 year old to see a rock concert of a band that’s about to be inducted to the rock and roll hall of fame.  As a group of wine / beer drinking rock fans, were we about to let her stop us from blowin’ off some steam and havin’ a good time as adults should do at least 1 day a week in order to keep from killing each other or perhaps even the kids?  No.  The 2 of us there who had children, left them the fuck at home where they belong.  They can waste their own God damn money on bands and drinkin’ when they grow up.  After it became obvious to her that we didn’t give 2 fucks about her or her about to be stomped to death son, she threw a conniption, picked him and the towel up and stomped away in a huff, just as God intended it.  “A Real Man never inconveniences anyone, unless you’re a fucking idiot, then he just runs you off entirely crying.”

To say the reaction to me yelling fuck the children went over well, would be a gross understatement.  Everyone and I mean everyone that heard it started laughing hysterically as I popped the invisible tension bubble for all of us including the band and hopefully the powers that be, although I’m pretty sure if they knew who said it, I would’ve been promptly tazered, handcuffed, dragged through the crowd, shamed and escorted off the property, banned for life and most likely arrested and these days perhaps shot by the police.  The only people who didn’t enjoy it, were a couple of little kids that looked up at me totally bewildered.  That’s exactly what I’m talking about.  People like me, go to wine / rock festivals and children shouldn’t be exposed to my shit and the likes of me because there’s no tellin’ what I’ll say or do and now these kids are scarred for life.  All because their stupid, fucktard parents thought it would be a great idea to bring them to an adult event, all because the powers that be are actually more interested in profits than protecting the children, but people are so stupid that they believe, well if Busch Gardens thinks its ok to bring my kids here, it must be ok.  Busch Gardens thinks its ok to take your money, the more people you bring, children or not, the more shit they can sell you, you fucking moron.  “A Real Man always says things that are suitable for children, like fuck the children.”

Why do you need a fucking theme park to tell you what’s appropriate or not for your children.  What the fuck ever happened to personal fucking responsibility?  I know, just like everything else in America it’s been farmed out along with all the jobs, the hard work, the talent, the brains, the respect, the patriotism & most importantly God.  Everything and I do mean everything that made this country what it used to be has been ripped and raped out of the heart and soul of America in order to appease the unappeasable and make sure that every single freak of fucking nature with every single point of view as long as it’s anti-straight, anti-white, anti-God, anti-personal responsibility & anti-normal is ecstatic and the rest of us be damned.  Well fuck that, I’m not just gonna lay here while big business and big government destroy my country and leave a steaming pile of shit for my one and only son to wade through for the rest of his life.  “A Real Man never needs advice raising children, especially from a God damn theme park.”

I’m gonna keep callin’ mother fuckers out like I always have, but I’m gonna be way more vocal about it than I ever have.  You know like fuck the children!  In a crowd full of parents.  That really could have gone a million ways, but we’ll never know if we don’t try will we?  No more, Mr. Nice guy, momma’s boy.  I want everyone watching with a nutsack to start doing the same.  It’s easy.  I’ve proven over and over, time after time, my entire life, to anyone that would listen that 99.999% of all people on earth especially now have big fucking mouths and absolutely nothing whatsoever to back it up.  I’ve always challenged every single person that’s ever been dumb enough to even consider running their mouths to me and they’ve always backed down or run away, because although they may be a lot bigger than me, more powerful than me, or have more money than I do, I‘ve got what they ain’t never had and ain’t never gonna have.  Take it from Tony Montana ~ “all I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don’t break them for no one.”  There is absolutely nothing resembling negotiation in that statement.  Negotiation is for women and bitches.  “A Real Man always negotiates, never.”

~ John D. – The ARMed Comic