Legacy, Mission, Relationships - posted on July 4, 1776 by

A Real Man Defines 10 Things Every Boy Should Really Know About Being Men

A Real Man

I didn’t know what to write about today because I prefer to be inspired rather than force myself to do anything because as A Real Man, I want everything I do to matter and be 100% authentic.  So as I was driving my son to school, I asked him, what do you think my next video should be about?  He had nothin’.  I kept askin’ a few more times, in a couple of different ways hopin’ to get anything out of him, but I got dick.  Then I asked, well what would you like to know about, what secrets can I reveal to you, what have you not yet figured out on your own?  Now I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’ve already shared every possible life lesson I can dream of over the course of his life, the fact that I’ve lectured him to the millionth fucking power over such lectures and his fuck ups as well, or he just wasn’t in the mood, but since he didn’t give me shit, I decided to google 10 things every boy should know and of fucking course the number one entry was written by a woman, some blogger Rita Templeton and commented on by 87 of her mostly retarded followers.  What a fucking shock! “A Real Man always reads everything there is to read about being A Real Man, as long as its fucking written by A Real Man.”

This site is called scarymommy.com and has some kind of queens crown in the logo.  Now I didn’t wanna judge a book by its cover so I dug a little deeper.  Well that didn’t take very fucking long, the first thing you see is a picture at the top of the post of 5 little boys sitting on a baseball dugout bench hugging each other.  Of course, one of them is also black or Puerto Rican or some shit.  Thank god for that.  Force-fed pro homo / racial equality everyfuckingwhere above all else.  If I were looking for a picture to post on a anything of mine, it wouldn’t even cross my mind to purposely post a picture with future fags of America or a black person in it, but I guess that’s just the homophobe, racist in me coming out or staying in or whateverthefuck, not really sure anymore.  I’ll have to google it or ask the media what that makes me, either one because I can’t fucking think for myself anymore.  To be perfectly honest with you, I’m surprised the picture didn’t have a black fag sucking off an Asian fag, sucking off a rapist priest, sucking off a dog, you know, so equality for all is covered.  Never fear folks, the new norm is on the way.  No it’s fucking not, not over my dead body.  “A Real Man never force feeds anyone anything, unless it’s his cock to a beautiful horney woman.”

The category that this post falls under for this blog with 36,000 fucking Facebook followers aka, stupid fucking retards at this writing is raising boys.  Of course it is.  People, listen to me, this is exactly what the fuck is wrong with America.  Women and faggots raise boys, sweet, gentle, delicate, polite, courteous, attentive, listeners, with no backbone, no drive, no ambition, no integrity, no honor, no balls, no fucking nothing.  When everything you do is good enough, when people are just mean, and words hurt your feelings, then you might as well just put on a pink fucking dress and start sucking dick already, your life is over, you’ve lost the race.  If this dumb bitch has 36,000 fans, that’s 36,000 mindless fucktards raising pussies, that have no chance in hell of sustaining themselves, a wife, a child or America.  We are so fucked it make me sick to my stomach, but I won’t just stand by and watch the mightiest nation god has ever blessed be chipped to pieces by incompetent, unqualified, weakness.  It’s incredibly sad that no one notices, no one cares and everyone’s too god damned distracted with completely irrelevant bullshit to see where we’re headed. That’s what I’m here for.  I’m here to wake you bitches up, slap some fucking sense into you and right this mother fucker for my son, his children and his children’s children, even if it kills me.  By the way, when I die, you bitches are coming with me.  “A Real Man never sits by watching his shit get fucked, he’s usually be busy fucking the shit up.”

This websites claim to fucking fame is parenting doesn’t have to be perfect.  Oh really, well neither does brain surgery, brake jobs, or your fucking wedding day, but you’d be hard pressed to find anyone that would accept other than perfect results, satisfactory for any of those.  It’s true, parenting doesn’t have to be perfect, but once you even consider second rate results as an option, all you get is 9th and 10 place results, you know the losers.  That’s exactly what the fuck is wrong.  Most women and all faggots are 100% satisfied with good enough as long as it’s not their wedding dress, the ring or their special fucking day, with everything else, including their god damned children, mediocrity are perfectly acceptable results.  All forms of competition have being taken out of and away from everyfucking thing.  These brainless zombies don’t know any history or only know the dark parts of our history.  You know the America that only has slavery and racism as its history as if America has the exclusive patent on shitty history.  Well it does if you don’t actually know any fucking history and most people aka the sheep, fucking don’t.  There isn’t a single nation on earth without bad history, yet the greatest nation on earth gets all the press.  Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why?  Of course not.  Why on earth would you do that?  It’s much easier to just accept the lies and misdirection shit shoveled down your throat everyday than to fucking think.  God forbid.  The same thing that makes this place, the best place in the world, is the exact same thing that makes it the worst place in the world.  It’s this little thing called freedom, freedom for everyfuckingone, yes even morons and dipshits can do and say whatever the fuck they want in America as a direct result of the thinkers that guaranteed them the right to do so in spite of the fucking consequences.  You’re fucking welcome.  “A Real Man always supports your rights, to get knocked the fuck out.”

Do you really think we would have it so good here if nothing but evil, racist, rapist, slave owners were responsible for everything that is America?  And if you don’t think we have it good here, then by all means necessary, get the fuck out, immediately.  You are everything that’s wrong with America.  Now I didn’t say perfect, because nowhere except the shithole you came from is perfect and it never will be, but it is good here, really fucking good and it’s about to get a whole lot fuckin’ better.  If all the people who built this country ever had time for was whippin’ and rapin’ slaves asses, how the fuck did they find the time to risk their lives to come here, colonize, refuse British taxes and rule, declare independence from Britain, go to war with Britain to sustain that independence, create the articles of confederation that formed the constitution, go to war with Britain again to defend those ideas, create the bill of rights and the 1st 10 amendments to the constitution, have a civil war with itself over those ideas and the rights that all men are created equal, create the emancipation proclamation, freeing the slaves which got the president that created it killed, invent electricity, the telephone, the lightbulb, flying, the first mass production automobile, and almost every other fucking thing that has ever mattered to mankind, take the freedom of drinking alcohol away from themselves because it appeared to women that drinking, gambling and prostitution were bad for the country, when they are in fact, just bad for bad women, give women rights, end segregation, stop japan, Germany and Russia from taking over the world, hop all over the globe getting American men killed to rescue people persecuted by tyrannical dictators, put a man on the moon & elect the first blackish president.  Wait, I get it, this is all news to you and you don’t believe any of it, because the news, some conspiracy theorists nutjob or the public school system didn’t teach you this stuff, but please ask yourself 1 fucking question.  Is it more important to look at the facts or the source of the facts?  “A Real Man always believes in history, that was written when the fucking history happened.”

Now why when telling you a story about the 10 things every boy should really know did I just spend 5 fucking minutes discussing history.  Because that’s the 1st fucking thing every boy should know.  Why’s that John D.?  Because history always repeats itself and if you knew anything about the fall of the roman empire, you would also know that America is on the exact same path, for the exact same fucking reasons, but since most women and all faggots don’t know any history at all or any accurate history or any history that doesn’t exclusively cover Africa, slavery and the evil white man, you just believe everything the public school system, celebrities, the media, some crazy blogger and your idiot friends and family tell you in spite of all the evidence to the contrary that completely surrounds your ignorant ass every single fucking day.  “A Real Man always teaches young men order, importance is the only order of all things.”

Lesson # 1 of the 10 things every boy should know about being men according to scarymommy.com is, you’re supposed to be scented, not suffocating.  How this even makes it into the top 1000 things a boy needs to know, let alone give a fuck about, I’ll never understand, but then again I also don’t have a website with 5 pre-fags and a token hugging each other at the top of it either.  If you’re supposed to be scented as in smell nice like a girl, then you’re obviously never doing labor or anything that resembles a hard work, therefore you should be wearing a dress and sucking cock.  That’s what scarymommy wanted anyway, a little girl, but since she had you, she’ll just turn you into one.  “A Real Man always smells nice, what smells better than mud, sawdust and diesel fuel.”

Lesson # 2 flowers are … okay.  And I quote “if you really want to make an impact, buy something that shows, you know what she enjoys.”  Pay attention here fellas, you’re a man in man training and lesson number 1 from the geniuses at scarymommy is smell like a girl, followed by lesson number 2, which is go shopping for a girl, so she’ll like you.  I swear to god, I am not making this shit up.  I also swear to god, I’m not just picking on scarrymommy or Rita the retard.  She can’t help it, she’s a girl and she thinks like a girl, therefore she acts like a girl.  Where the fuck is Curtis in all this shit?  “A Real Man always buys a girl flowers, and places them on her fuckin’ coffin.”

Lesson # 3 “expand your recipe repertoire.”  Here we go again.  Most women think everything’s better, aka gayer in French.  1st of all, as A Real Man, you shouldn’t have a repewhateverthefuck of any kind.  2ndly, as A Real Man, your 3 sources of food should be in this fucking order, whatever you kill, whatever she cooks or whatever your favorite breastaurant serves.  Pay attention.  She is telling you too cook, what the fuck is she doing while you’re cooking?  Even if it’s blowing you, it won’t take so long, that she can’t finish cooking once she’s done, hell if she can do both simultaneously, that’s what I call a keeper.  “A Real Man never cooks, scorching meat with fire is not cooking.”

Lesson # 4 “if it’s overflowing, take care of the problem.”  Damnit!  I actually thought I finally found some common ground with this bitch, but then I kept reading.  I thought she was actually talking about fixing something, which all men should know how to do or know who to pay, but now she’s talking about cleaning the house, you know woman’s work.  Now before you get your thong in a bunch, hear me out.  I’ve slept with and dated hundreds of women over my lifetime and none of them have ever made more money than me only because I get up at a decent hour, don’t drink wine all night and work 10 times harder than they do, not to mention, I usually pay for everything, so the way I see it, I can either make the money or clean the house, I ain’t doin’ both, that’s what they make wives, girlfriends and maids for.  I’m A Real Man, I fix shit or pay someone else to fix shit.  One of my ex’s actually got pissed at me because I wouldn’t cut the grass or take out the trash at her house, I’ll say it again, her house.  So I asked her, ok, are you gonna do it at my house?  That was the end of that conversation, she was fucking pissed at me all day and sucked my balls dry that night.   I know right.  Makes no fucking sense.  Men, it’s not a mystery for us to solve, just see it for what it is and act accordingly.  “A Real Man always cleans the house, if he comes homes and his house is dirty he just kicks the bitch out.”

Lesson # 5 and I quote, “be nice to your waiters and customer service people.”  “Understand that it isn’t their fault.”  Be nice to everyone, I get that, unless they don’t fucking deserve nice, but in the new fault free America, you get shit like “understand that it isn’t their fault.”  Let me ask you a fucking question.  If I go to mcdonalds and order a big mac and the dumbfuck behind the counter hands me a fillet o fish, who the fucks fault is it?  It certainly has to be someone’s fault.  I mean I didn’t fucking order fillet o god damn fish.  It’s technically impossible for no one to be at fucking fault.  You know who’s at fault.  You, Rita, you are at fucking fault, for having no god damn standards and way too much tolerance for ignorance and stupidity.  You’re the kinda person that agrees with $15.00 an hour for fucktards that decide to raise a family working at mcfuckingdonalds.  It’s your fucking fault.  “A Real Man never points fingers, just guns.”

Lesson # 6 and I quote again “hormones, schmormones, sometimes women are in a bad mood.”  “You should try to be understanding – and if you can’t be, then just step back and give them some space.”  There it is again, more nonsensical nonsense from a nonsensical creature.  Isn’t amazing how in America right now, all roads to being a man, all lead back to what you must and should to please women.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha what the fuck?  The only part of that diarrhea paragraph I could agree with was “just step back and give them some space.”  Sometimes women are in a bad mood?  You know what?  Who gives a fuck?  Whatta are ya 3?  Get over it!  I don’t give a shit.  “You should try to be understanding”?  Why?  What in the fuck has that ever accomplished in the history of mankind.  Here we are with more of this acceptance nonsense.  Funny thing is, the exact same people that demand I be more accepting of everything, won’t accept anything I am saying or doing here, so you know what, fuck them!  I am telling you from a lifetime of in the field real life experience, I’ve told every girl, including my wife that has ever told me, I’m in a bad mood, I’m on my period or that I should be more understanding, hey sweety, I don’t give a fuck, that’s no fucking excuse to be a bitch and there would be nothing to understand if you weren’t being a cunt.  Listen up fellas and listen closely.  You can no longer smack a bitch and she fucking knows it.  Well technically you could smack a bitch, but then Tyrone’s gonna get to fuck you in the ass for the next year or so and we wouldn’t want that.  You can’t throw a bitch out the house if she lives there and she fucking knows that too.  And finally you can’t ever stop payin’ a bitch you had a kid with which brings me back to the beauty of giving them space.  It’s the only fucking option that isn’t illegal for a man yet.  A woman on the other hand can do whatever the fuck she wants.  The only weapon a man in America has left today in his holster against the lunacy of a women is space and I strongly suggest you give them as much as humanly possible.  Every man and I do mean every man should get married and have a child or 2, but only once.  After that shit falls apart, which it will, until rated arm is able to right all the wrongs of the American legal and children and family services system, never, ever allow a woman to bring so much as a fucking toothbrush in your house, never get married and never, ever, ever get a girl pregnant and above all else, totally disappear off the fucking grid every single time they get out of line.  If there’s one thing most women can’t stand it’s not being the center of god damn attention.  “A Real Man is always tolerant, of fucking nothing.”

Lesson # 7 and I quote “periods suck.”  Remember guys, the title of this article is or was or mislead me to believe it would be about the 10 things every boy should know about being men.  A, boys don’t have fucking periods.  B, women used to have class, kept that shit to themselves and just blew you more often while they were outta commission and c, boys don’t need to know a god damn thing about periods, that’s your fucking problem, you deal with it.  Remember earlier when I said A Real Man knows how to fix shit or who to pay to fix it.  As A Real Man I will even pay for your fucking tampons, but your period is in no way shape or form, any of my god damn concern.  And I quote “be manly enough to buy tampons and midol, and while you’re at the store, pick up some ice cream.”  What am I your fucking servant?  Here’s a news flash stupid, you’ve been having surprise periods since you were 13, you’re in the god damn store 2 or 3 times a day, pull out the cash I gave you this morning as you were doing the walk of shame and put a couple of extra corks in the cart, in your car, in your purse or up your ass.  Anywhere you can think of to stop all the surprises from happening every fucking month.  When toilet paper sticking to my ass hair which happens at least three times a day becomes your fucking problem, then your period can be my problem.  Until then, shut the fuck up about it.  How is it you managed to keep that shit to yourself for 2 to 3 years while you were acting like a fun, carefree, sexaholic freak, trying to trick me into getting you pregnant and marrying you, yet all of a sudden, the second I give you a ring, you now have the right to treat me like dogshit, cut me off and have an attitude for 10 days outta the month.  You fucking don’t!  Because as A Real Man, and the more you run your mouth, the less you’ll see of me, the more you cut me off, the less you’ll see of me, giving me more time to fuck all your friends and the more 10 days of attitude you have in a row, the less you’ll see of me every month giving me more time to find a suitable replacement, but don’t worry, I’ll still keep fucking you while I’m looking for her, even after I’ve already fucked her.  None of that shit is yet illegal.  “A Real Man always concerns himself with your period, when he’s a fag.”

Lesson # 8 and I fucking quote again “remotes are made to be shared.”  This was the first paragraph in the vomit spew article where Rita almost sounds like a woman instead of the pitcher in a dyke dyke relationship.  This one must be personal, because she wasn’t being a total cunt about it.  Now don’t get it twisted, she’s still fucking delusional and absolutely wrong on all fronts in every way conceivable and her 4 little boys are all gonna grow up to be raging, pussy whipped, cocksuckers, but she’s finally starting to act like a nurturer, a woman’s natural god given impulse and not trying to impress all her girlfriends at tonight’s yoga /wine / dance class with her ballbreaker colostomy speech.  I guess right now might be a good place to point out that I too, am not trying to impress anyone anywhere since most people on earth are completely repulsed by everything about me and my beliefs, even though most of the guys still laugh way too hard and fist bump me for everything I say and most of the girls still wanna fuck me, so what can I say?  I can say this, I’m not makin’ any of this shit up, I’ve lived it, seen it all with my own fucking eyes and documented all of it.  Ok, so let’s address the real problem.  1st off, this is America and its pretty safe to say there’s 1.5 TV’s for every single person in every house.  2ndly, I paid for all of the god damn TV’s so all of them will be on whateverthefuck channel I decide, simultaneously if I so choose.  3rdly, I’m A Real Man, so I don’t watch fucking TV, because I’m too busy accomplishing shit, but if I were to watch TV, I would be watching some manly movie with tits popping out all over the place, some filthy comedy performed by a male comic since female comics aren’t fucking funny at all or some manly TV show with tits popping out all over the place at full thunderous, earth and ear shattering volume.  Luckily for you I still have a million things to accomplish today so I won’t be here long, especially if you get down on your knees and blow me while I’m watching my shit.  Depending on your performance, I’m either gonna fall asleep immediately, leaving the TV available for you or pick you up and fuck the shit outta you.  Either way I’m good.  “A Real Man always shares the remote, once he’s done using it, it’s all fuckin’ yours.”

Lesson # 9 and I quote “hole-y does not equal holy.”  Once again, outta the top 1000 things every boy should really know, this doesn’t even place.  What Rita’s sharting about here is holy underwear something that really, really bothers a lot women.  Here’s a thought, pick 1 of the 2 or 3 times per day you are in a store picking up surprise tampons, pull out some more of my money and buy me some new underwear.  I’m sorry, I’m too busy working my way up the corporate ladder, building my business or paying the bills to give a shit about such menial issues, but you apparently have enough time on your hands to sit around and ponder them.  And while you’re at it, I’m A Real Man, which means I’m practical.  They’re just gonna end up black or blackish in an hour or 2 anyway so just buy them black to begin with.  She also refers to men’s underwear as undies.  There is nothing ies about anything related to A Real Man and except when his victim dies. As in dies.  Stop fagging up the language or you might be next.  “A Real Man always wears underwear, under his fucking wear.”

And fucking finally Lesson # 10 and I quote “no socks while sexin’.”  Once again in the pantheon of things every boy should know about being men, this isn’t one of them and here’s why.  Most women aren’t attracted to the way a man looks.  I know, shocker right.  No seriously, maybe the 1st 2 or 3 times she bangs you, its physical attraction, but after that, it’s all mental.  You know beer goggles or wine goggles or general stupidity if you’re most women.  I’ll say it again another way.  Women are attracted to you for 1 reason and 1 reason only and the minute that 1 reason evaporates their soaked undies dry up like a prune on a sidewalk in Arizona and she moves on to the next mother fucker that gives her that 1 reason back.  And that reason is, drumroll please.  Women are attracted to you, because of how, you make them feel, wait for it, about, wait for it, themselves.  Holy narcissism batman!  You got it boy under.  If you’re a young guy, this shit’s gonna take some time to figure out, but trust me.  A woman’s job is to test you, your job is to never fail the test.  The minute you fail the tests, you’re done.  As long as you continue to pass the tests, you win.  Great!  How do I pass the test?  Simple.  Never take the fucking test.  Ignore it every god damn time without compromise.  I don’t understand can you give me an example.  Sure!  Example # 1.  You’re such an asshole.  I’m glad you noticed.  Example # 2.  My mom’s not gonna like you very much.  She’s lucky she’s even meeting me.  Example # 3 I want a divorce.  I thought you’d never ask, I had my attorney draw these up a year ago, just sign here, here and here.  Every example I’ve just given you sounds awful to every person that hears it, but we are not people, we are animals, our dna has always been and will always be animalistic.  Which means if you are whatever saying and doing all that stuff makes you to most women, you may very well be an asshole, a prick and one selfish mother fucker, but for some reason that they can’t even explain, their dna is insanely attracted to you.  I am and have always been an ugly man with holy underwear and I have said and done every example listed above with almost every girl I’ve ever been with and to the best of my knowledge none of them have ever left me for those reasons.  Most women lie continuously so you never really know, but I usually get left eventually because I refuse to give up another ring and another baby, but who gives a shit?  I already have an ex-wife, I already have a child that thank god is a son and if this life has taught me anything, it’s that every second, of every single day, there’s another hot, tight, 18 year old, with daddy issues being born which means I’ll always have another ex-girlfriend.  Always.  “A Real Man always wears socks, in case he has to drop a load in one.”

Rita ends her vomminous diatribe with the following and I quote “these may not be the wisest, most valuable pieces of life advice my sons ever receive, but they’re important nonetheless. If I can send a few less men out into the world in holey boxers and a cloud of cologne, well, I’ve done something right.”  They aren’t wise pieces of advice at all.  Non-sensical, illogical, clumps of shit, yes, advice, I don’t fucking think so.  Rita, you clearly wanted daughters and ended up with sons and for that I’m truly sorry, not sorry to you, sorry to them for having to be raised so clearly gay.  You’ve done nothing right and everything wrong.  Your parents should be ashamed of themselves and if they’re not dead already, should really think about committing suicide.  Maybe they can take you with them.  It’s terrifying that this is the # 1 google entry for things every boy should know about being men because the overall message here is that you should have been a girl, you are of no use to society as a boy, in any way shape or form and unless you cater your entire existence to the happiness of women you will never hold any value.  That is some dark, dark, twisted, pathetic, un-natural shit.  God made woman from man to help man and the real life proof is everyfuckingwhere, including the follower behavior most women display,  but you and your men hating fans don’t have to believe a word I say.  As A Real Man, it’s my obligation to speak with my actions and no matter how long it takes or how many obstacles the weak, fag forward, acceptance above all else retards, hurl in my path, you have awaken the sleeping giant and I’m coming to get you mother fuckers.  “A Real Man never threatens a woman, his big harry balls are scary enough!”

~ John D. – The ARMed Comic